1 Year...100 Movies: #98 YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942)

Alas, we have come to the first musical on the list. Not that it took too long since it's the third movie on my way up to number one. Before watching this movie I had never seen a James Cagney anything -- trust me, I looked through his IMDB resume to make sure. What I did know is that James Cagney was a big deal. He's one of the OG Hollywood Legends. So much of a legend that he's listed at #8 on AFI's "50 Greatest American Screen Legends." That's how you know you're in for a treat. One thing this film had going for it was that I already knew the title song because of a little film called, Steel Magnolias -- the one with Julia Roberts and Sally Field. There's a scene where they sing the "Yankee Doodle Dandy" because it's the baby's birthday. But, enough with the side story. Other than that fun factoid, I knew nothing.

Basic Premise of the Film: The trials and tribulations in the life of George Cohan, a famous vaudevillian and Broadway actor -- who's kind of a cocky douche sometimes. Starts on his birthday, July 4th in the early 1900s and goes all the way to him in semi-retirement at the onset of WWII. Totally based on a true story.

A habit I have after watching certain movies is to go on Wikipedia to see what fun facts I can read about (sometimes I'll read the actual trivia page on IMDB). It was through doing this that I found out that this film is biographical. The first biopic on this list! There really was a guy named George Cohan -- who knew!? I'm sure all of you who've seen it did. Anyways, this movie was great. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what put it on the list, but when you think about it, the musical production was great. I mean, who isn't still singing "You're a Grand Old Flag?" If it hadn't been for George Cohan,  I would have never learned that song in elementary school. Beside the title song, there were lots of amazing musical numbers. The pacing was excellent. I didn't really feel the two hour length of the film -- that could have also been aided by the fact that I was folding laundry as I watched it. BUT the movie never dragged on or anything.

When the "100 Greatest" list was first introduced in 1998, this film was listed at #100; 10 years later it got bumped up a couple of spots. Now, I don't know if this film is better than Ben-Hur, but it definitely is more culturally and historically significant. It covers a specific period of American entertainment history, sometime that Ben-Hur doesn't do.

I viewed this film online. CLICK HERE to watch it. I apologize in advance for the inappropriate ads (no nekkids or anything, just VERY suggestive). But hey, free movie right? It's also available for rent on YouTube for $3. 

And for funsies, here's a clip from the film to make you feel a little extra patriotic (song starts at 1:05)

1 Year...100 Movies: #99 TOY STORY (1995)

This is the first movie on the list that I don't even have to watch. I grew up watching this movie and know it backwards and forwards. No joke though, it's still as funny to me as it was the first time I saw it as a 6-year-old. The best part is that now, 20 years later, I catch all the sly adult jokes the makers of the film snuck in there. Unlike Ben-Hur, this movie didn't sweep The Oscars, or any awards show for that matter. What it did win, however, was a Special Achievement Oscar. This is a category, before it was discontinued, that wasn't awarded every year, but was given when someone/something made a special and unique contribution to the film industry. Toy Story was the first full-length animated film to be done solely on a computer and give life to the Pixar Animation Studios.

Basic Premise of the Film: Andy has a faithful fleet of toys that come to life when he is either not in the room or asleep. The movie opens with all the toys worried they'll be replaced because it's Andy's birthday and he's bound to get newer, better toys. His favorite toy, Woody, tells them they have nothing to worry about, right?! WRONG. Enter Buzz Lightyear -- the tickle me Elmo or Cabbage Patch kid of the movie -- who comes in and turns Woody's world upside down. Eventually a jealous Woody decides to get rid of him, and throws him out of the window. Now, Woody has to go on a journey to get him back. This journey sees them being lost all over town and becoming best friends.

Honestly, if you haven't seen this movie yet, you must have been living in a cave the past 20 years. I don't know what else to say except that if it wasn't any good it wouldn't have spun off two very successful sequels -- the last one which was a sobfest to be honest, but I loved it. It's a film that has stood the test of time when it comes to animation, revolutionized the way animated films are made and definitely one of the best animated films ever. Introduced to the list in 2007, let's hope when they update the list next year, it won't be voted off and maybe will be ranked a little bit higher. We shall see.

As mentioned before, there was no need to watch this one. If I would have had to watch it, I would've just popped in my DVD. 

And now, for funsies, my favorite scene of the film, mainly because of Woody's "laugh":

1 Year...100 Movies: #100 BEN-HUR (1959)

This film is one that is widely known to be a classic. Classic in the sense that it is from the time when most of the Hollywood EPICS came out. I mean that term in the sense that these epics were these big budget movies that were not only great but had amazing headliners at the time. Examples of these include Cleopatra, Spartacus, The Ten Commandments, and Lawrence of Arabia. What's unique about films like these is that you don't even have to list who's in them because you already know. Which is why you don't really need to see Ben-Hur to know that Charlton Heston is the star of the film. The only film I've kinda sorta seen with Charlton Heston before this one was Planet of the Apes and that's only because the remake Tim Burton made alerted me to the fact that there was even an original to begin with.

Basic Premise of the Film: Guy becomes enslaved because he fell out of favor with power ranking former bro. Vows to return and get his revenge because his mother and sister are imprisoned for no reason as well. Years pass, he comes back, gets his "revenge" of sorts, is reunited with mother and sister after some issues. They all live "happily ever after." Kinda of a cross between Gladiator and The Count of Monte Cristo.

I went into this knowing that it was a best picture winner. Not only that, but I knew it cleaned house at the Oscars. How did I know this? My husband has an Oscars history book that told me so. But that's neither here nor there. Afterwards, I got curious and wondered what other films it had been up against for Best Picture: yeah, I hadn't heard of any of them. This film definitely deserved that statue in my opinion; a year the Academy actually got it right. Now, the movie took like maybe 20 minutes or so to fully reel me in. When it did, I was gone and in love! This movie was amazing. Even in VHS I was able to see the wonder of the cinematography and the production of the film. I also kinda wondered why I'd gone so long without seeing it. As you can see -- if you read my thoughts and questions list below -- I got a little baby crush on that Charlton Heston. Low-key though. Don't tell my husband.

I also enjoyed the underlying biblical storyline that was incorporated, that was unexpected but very welcome. I'm just in awe. They really don't make epics like this anymore. No, The Avengers doesn't count, no matter how epic you thought it was. I don't know what else to say except that if you love movies or consider yourself a movie buff: YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS. When the "100 Films" list first came out, the movie was ranked at 72. Ten years later when the list was updated to include films that had been released since, it was demoted all the way to 100. I can't necessarily say whether it did or didn't deserve to drop 28 spots, but I guess as I make it through the list and see which films got bumped up and which ones were introduced I can come up with a better answer to that question. Until then, it's been a great start to watching the movies on this list.

Viewed on a 2-tape VHS set. Before I happened to come across it for purchase, I found a site that hosted it to view online. CLICK HERE if you wish to view it. (If the link goes dead, sorry, you might be SOL)

And, just for fun...

Here's a list of the questions and thoughts I had as I watched this THREE AND A HALF HOUR film (I typed them as I watched it):

• Overture? Time for snacks.
• What Mary and Joseph are in this? I didn't know this was a biblical story. Happy Birthday, Jesus!
• How am I like 10 minutes in and the title and credits are only just now coming on? 
• Ahhh....a prophecy about a king leading the Jews to freedom from the Romans. That sounds familiar.
• AHAHAAHA...a carpenter's boy who does magic tricks. I wonder who that is.
• Oh haaaay there, Judah (Charlton Heston). You ain't bad looking.
• Well, Judah and his Roman friend, Messala ain't friends no more.
• Judah, fresh as fuck. Just planting a kiss on Esther. He gonna marry her, I bet you.
• Judah's sister...what a damn fool. Knocked over the ceiling tile and hit the Governor. On accident though. Too bad that fool died. 
• Awww...Judah taking the blame.
• Dang, Messala. Cold blooded. Wouldn't even help the homie out.
• Messala investigates; saw for himself Ben-Hur wasn't full of it. Still doesn't help the homie out.
• Jail break! Go Judah!
• Welp, I guess they really aren't friends anymore. Gonna make an example of Judah so people will be scared. Savage AF Messala. Yes, Judah. You will come back and get your revenge. 
• Really savage. Got these prisoners walking barefoot through the hot ass desert with no water. 
• WHAT?! NO WATER FOR JUDAH!? COLD BLOODED AF.
• Nooooo Judah! Don't die.
• Jesus for the win! Judah said, "God help me." ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE! Even the Roman soldier who was about to stop Jesus from giving him water was all like, "Okay, I ain't messing with you."
• Enter boat/ship ride. Where they at? Turns out Judah's been slaving as a ship rower going on four years now so, where they are, is irrelevant. I guess.
• Judah's angry AF. He gonna be snatching some heads when he gets the chance. 
• I'm starting to get a little crush on Charlton Heston here. He's wearing the diaper equivalent of shorts. But dang, he is not bad looking at all. Hey, boo.
• This commander got these people rowing like mad men for no reason. They passing out left and right and he has no fucks to give. These Romans are ruthless. Shout out to the one Roman soldier that was feeling bad -- he had a heart deep down. 
• JUDAH FTW. SAVING LIVES WHEN EVERYONE ONE ELSE IS PANICKING. (Plothole: Why that one dude only got a nub for an arm. I need to know). Look at him, even saved the Roman general -- he totally owes him one now.
• This guy is pleading for his innocence since he saved his life to the main boss dude, Emperor Tiberius. Ah, snap. Judah's moved on up the slave ladder. He's like a personal assistant now. Go Judah!
• Judah got adopted by the man he saved. SAY WHAAAAA...? His name is now "Young Arrius."
• Papa-san gonna let Judah go back to Jerusalem and get his revenge. That's love and gratitude right there.
• Judah gonna be a chariot racer. That's his ticket back to Jerusalem.
• Messala's all like: "Uhhhhhh....Hey, Judah."
• Judah about to really snatch some heads since his mother and sister died in the prison. Sidebar: They actually alive, but since they have leprosy, they don't want him to see them like that, so Esther lied for them.
• Intermission? Time for snacks and to switch the VHS tape.
• This some Pete Rose shiet right now. Persian guy come through betting Judah gonna win this race, Messala's like hell naw and agrees to a 1,000 pounds bet -- they English or Roman? What's currency do the Romans use? Did they say "pounds" because they're too lazy to say "libras?"
• Everybody is cheering for their hometown boy, Judah, to win this race. He is after Prince Judah Ben-Hur.
• I'm sure somewhere in this race, George Lucas got the idea for the pod race in Phantom Menace. 
• Can even half of these mofos ride chariots!?!?! They all falling off! Judah sneaking in and taking the lead slowly. It's only really between J and M now, everybody else is gonna crash.
• Ah, snap. J almost wiped out. Now, J and M are fighting each other with whips, while still racing. Such bitches.
• That's it, Judah wins! Messala low key tore up AF now. Everyone is so happy their brethen won.
• Dang, Messala on his deathbed, crippled beyond fixing, and he's still being cold blooded. Over here telling sex on a stick Judah that his mom and sister are actually alive and where he can find them if  "he can even recognize them." RUDE. BYE MESSALA.
• Well, he found them and Esther convinced him not to make himself known for their own sake. Such will that Judah almost didn't have.
• Jesus is back! This time he was in the mountains doing his Jesus thang. 
• Judah denounces Rome. He was about to become a citizen, and he said I don't want it. Okay, you stand up for your beliefs and feelings, girl. Back to being enemy of the state it is, then. 
• Judah's on a "Fix It Jesus" journey to heal his sister who is on the brink of death. Bless him.
• One problem: Trial of Jesus has just ended and he's about to be crucified. (Now, I knew Jesus was a very minor barely secondary character, but I didn't think they were gonna show all of that).
• What. She's healed! Also: Jesus ain't on that cross no-more.
• Aww, happy ending. Morale of the story: Keep fighting the good fight, and don't lose your faith.

Resolution: 2016 Edition

Every year at the onset of the new year, we are all pressured to set a goal that we'd like to accomplish for the duration of that year. Some of them are realistic and doable, while others are so unrealistic we dream and hope of maybe doing it. For the past several years, I've said forget that because I know myself and after 2 weeks I'll forget to do whatever it is and say I'll start again next month and before you know it, it's New Year's Eve again. Well, my friends: NOT THIS YEAR. This year, I've set a goal, and I can totally do it! I've had this blog for nearly FIVE years now, and every month I tell myself that I need to devote more time to it, since I'll probably make a post every eight months or so. Yeah, such a great blogger I am.

In order to accomplish this goal, I decided to FINALLY watch the "100 Greatest Films" as picked by the American Film Institute (AFI). Now, if you look at the several lists on there, they have lists for the 100 Greatest Comedies, Romances and moments; stuff like that. Anyways...

I'm going to watch all 100 movies on their 100 Years...100 Movies list. It was updated in 2007 after initially being decided upon in 1998. I feel that they might be updating it again next year -- based on the pattern -- so I definitely want to get through it this year before they change it again. I've told my husband that we should try to work our way through it over the years, but he says "yes" but we never follow through with it. Or sometimes I'll point out a movie that is on the list that we can watch and he'll say "meh." Well, NO MORE. In order for me to do this, I'll have to watch about 2 movies a week in order to get through all 100 in 2016.

Here's exactly what I'm going to do:

• Watch every film on the list starting with #100 and finishing with #1
• Write a review on each film after viewing.
• Unless, I've seen one of the films within the last year, or it's one of those movies I've seen on loop, I will watch it. So there's going to be some I won't watch because I've seen it enough to be able to recite it -- I'll still write about it though.
• Since I don't own a lot of these, I will do my best to find them on Netflix, Hulu, OnDemand (for free) and YouTube (for the ones who's copyrights have expired and are now part of the public domain). Obviously some of these films won't be available on these platforms, so I'll search and see if they're being hosted anyway. Others, I'll hunt them down on VHS because they're cheap and I still own a VCR that I frequently use. 
• Last, I will enjoy myself!

Here's the list for anyone who wants to watch it along with me (link is also included above):

1	CITIZEN KANE	1941
2	THE GODFATHER	1972
3	CASABLANCA	1942
4	RAGING BULL	1980
5	SINGIN' IN THE RAIN	1952
6	GONE WITH THE WIND	1939
7	LAWRENCE OF ARABIA	1962
8	SCHINDLER'S LIST	1993
9	VERTIGO	1958
10	THE WIZARD OF OZ	1939
11	CITY LIGHTS	1931
12	THE SEARCHERS	1956
13	STAR WARS	1977
14	PSYCHO	1960
15	2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY	1968
16	SUNSET BLVD.	1950
17	THE GRADUATE	1967
18	THE GENERAL	1927
19	ON THE WATERFRONT	1954
20	IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE	1946
21	CHINATOWN	1974
22	SOME LIKE IT HOT	1959
23	THE GRAPES OF WRATH	1940
24	E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL	1982
25	TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD	1962
26	MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON	1939
27	HIGH NOON	1952
28	ALL ABOUT EVE	1950
29	DOUBLE INDEMNITY	1944
30	APOCALYPSE NOW	1979
31	THE MALTESE FALCON	1941
32	THE GODFATHER PART II	1974
33	ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST	1975
34	SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS	1937
35	ANNIE HALL	1977
36	THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI	1957
37	THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES	1946
38	THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE	1948
39	DR. STRANGELOVE	1964
40	THE SOUND OF MUSIC	1965
41	KING KONG	1933
42	BONNIE AND CLYDE	1967
43	MIDNIGHT COWBOY	1969
44	THE PHILADELPHIA STORY	1940
45	SHANE	1953
46	IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT	1934
47	A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE	1951
48	REAR WINDOW	1954
49	INTOLERANCE	1916
50	THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING	2001
51	WEST SIDE STORY	1961
52	TAXI DRIVER	1976
53	THE DEER HUNTER	1978
54	M*A*S*H	1970
55	NORTH BY NORTHWEST	1959
56	JAWS	1975
57	ROCKY	1976
58	THE GOLD RUSH	1925
59	NASHVILLE	1975
60	DUCK SOUP	1933
61	SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS	1941
62	AMERICAN GRAFFITI	1973
63	CABARET	1972
64	NETWORK	1976
65	THE AFRICAN QUEEN	1951
66	RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK	1981
67	WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?	1966
68	UNFORGIVEN	1992
69	TOOTSIE	1982
70	A CLOCKWORK ORANGE	1971
71	SAVING PRIVATE RYAN	1998
72	THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION	1994
73	BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID	1969
74	THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS	1991
75	IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT	1967
76	FORREST GUMP	1994
77	ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN	1976
78	MODERN TIMES	1936
79	THE WILD BUNCH	1969
80	THE APARTMENT	1960
81	SPARTACUS	1960
82	SUNRISE	1927
83	TITANIC	1997
84	EASY RIDER	1969
85	A NIGHT AT THE OPERA	1935
86	PLATOON	1986
87	12 ANGRY MEN	1957
88	BRINGING UP BABY	1938
89	THE SIXTH SENSE	1999
90	SWING TIME	1936
91	SOPHIE'S CHOICE	1982
92	GOODFELLAS	1990
93	THE FRENCH CONNECTION	1971
94	PULP FICTION	1994
95	THE LAST PICTURE SHOW	1971
96	DO THE RIGHT THING	1989
97	BLADE RUNNER	1982
98	YANKEE DOODLE DANDY	1942
99	TOY STORY	1995
100	BEN-HUR	1959

Season 1, Episode 1:"The Pilot" or "The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate"

So, here we are. At the beginning of one of television's greatest sitcoms of all time. Let's get started, shall we?


INTRO: Full credits. No cuts to scenes from episodes during the cast credits. Probably the only time we'll have the intro focus entirely on their shenanigans at the fountain.

The episode opens with 4 of the 6 friends (Joey, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica) hanging out at the coffee shop, Central Perk, sitting around that dumpy orange couch shooting the breeze (I'm guessing). They're all ragging on Monica because, apparently, there needs to be something wrong with some guy from her work in order for her to go out with him. She's all like, "Can't a bitch just go hangout with some dude, eat, and not have sex?" Then Chandler's like, "Oh, well, no banging? That sounds like a date." And we all laugh because I guess it's true.

It then cuts to who knows how much later in the day and Chandler is talking about some dream he had about being naked and having no dick. In place of that peen is a phone, which then proceeds to ring and it's his mom calling. According to him, the entire dream is weird, not because there's a phone where his dick should be, but because his mother never calls. Okay, whatever you say, dude. I kinda wish Chandler would've said what his phone dick looked like because I'm curious. Was it a cordless phone? One of those phones that had the handset attached via cord to the base? Or one of those cellphones disguised as bricks? These are the questions I need answered.

Even more later that same morning/day, they're still at the coffee house and we are introduced to Ross, who's standing behind that dumpy orange couch, looking and sounding pretty bummed. His wife, Carol, just moved all her shit out of their place. Monica tell him to sit his ass down while she gets him some coffee -- hopefully with some booze in it -- and we are introduced to Phoebe's eccentricity. She starts plucking the air around Ross, and he tells her to leave his shit alone because he doesn't want his aura cleansed. Ross is quick to change his attitude from wanting his ex-wife to be happy to condemning her to hell because she's the only who left him. A little bit rude, but you can't hate on the woman because she finally decided to embrace her life and be openly gay. At least be glad she cut you off sooner rather than later. Joey's like, "Dude, why didn't you know all them years?" and Ross has no idea, because he's Ross. Joey gets the bright idea that Ross needs to go to a "strip joint" to get his groove back. Ross, said he doesn't need no groove back, he just wants to be married again. And that's when...

Some bitch (her name's Rachel, by the way) in a wedding dress busts through the door who, it turns out, is looking for Monica. Says she went up to her building to look for her, wasn't there and BAM found her in the coffee house. This is when we FINALLY hear everyone's names and somewhat their connections to each other because Monica is introducing them all to Rachel. Ross and Monica are siblings, Monica and Rachel went to high school together, and the other three just showed up randomly. I hope they show us how the other five met each other, maybe some other episode. After introductions, they ask Rachel "WTF, Mate?" because she's there in her wedding dress. She starts talking about being in the waiting room at her wedding venue, and how after holding a gravy boat, she realized that her husband-to-be, Barry, looked like Mr. Potato Head. She got scared and ran off, but having nowhere to go, remembered her friend Monica lived in the city and tried her luck there. Of course, in typical-although-we-don't-know-it-yet Monica fashion, Monica points out that her she wasn't invited to the wedding even though they're "friends". Rachel was like, "Damn, I was hoping you were gonna let that slide."

Later, they are now all at Monica's apartment, watching a Spanish soap opera trying their best to figure out what's going on and Rachel is on the phone to her dad about why she walked out on her wedding. I would like to take a moment so we can all feast our eyes on the bridal fashion of 1994.

THAT DRESS! THAT TIARA/VEIL! (That phone too!)

Rachel is talking about how she doesn't love Barry and then proceeds to give a shitty metaphor about shoes and fashion accessories which her dad doesn't get. I mean, if someone tells me they've felt like a shoe their whole life and now they maybe want to be a purse or a hat, I don't think I'd get it either. Even Ross was like, "Yeah, that shit don't make sense." She's now invited herself to stay with Monica after I'm assuming her dad says you can't come home and I'm gonna cut your ass off financially. Monica was like, "I don't know how I feel about that" but she went with it.

I'm just going to throw it out there right now, these people can get quite a lot done in one day. First they were down there at the coffee house for who knows how long, then they went up stairs and watched some TV, now, it's still daylight and they all making sammiches and snacksfor snacks. Phoebe tries to sing her a butchered version of "My Favorite Things," because she's Phoebe, to help console a hyperventilating Rachel. Rachel wasn't trying to have any of it, so she told her she was better, and falsely made her think she helped. Rude. Joey then hits on her, because he's Joey, and Monica tells him, "Not cool, bro." Someone buzzes up the at the apartment to be let in. Who can it now? We find out that Monica's date from earlier in the episode is Paul "The Wine Guy." Everybody get's all excited and shit, either because they know him or because she'd low-key been pining after him for a while, and now they're going out. He walks in the door, is introduced him, and we are given a typical (or it will be) Chandler joke. Everybody's like "Hi, Paul!" and he's like:

"I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?"

Anyways, Monica leaves to get ready and Phoebe continues on her weird ways saying that it can't be good that she pulled our four eyelashes. Why is she even pulling those eyelashes out!? Was she trying to pull them out to begin with? Is three the correct number of eyelashes you're allowed to pull out to be considered good? More questions, and no answers. Ross asks Rachel what she's up to that night and she says how since she isn't going on her honeymoon to Aruba anymore, she's just chilling. Ross makes an awkward comment about lizards because, of course, and then tries to invite her to help him put furniture together at this new apartment. Joey and Chandler are going to help too and they're sarcastically excited about helping out, but she says no, because she just wants to lay low. Phoebe is also invited and, being the smart one, says she totally wishes she could, but she just doesn't want to.

We are cut to Phoebe at a subway station singing one of her weird songs. This one is about some pigeon taking a shit which is supposed to be a metaphor for some dude who's breaking her heart.

Just a random scene, thrown in here with no explanation and for no reason.

That night, Joey, Chandler and Ross are putting furniture together, don't even know what they're doing and Ross proceeds to get bummed again about his divorce because he pulled out a can of his ex-wife's favorite beer. C'mon guy, get it together! The guys ask him what he got out of the divorce since Carol got everything, and he's all like "I got you guys," and they're like, "Naw, man. You got jack." Monica is now on her date with Paul "The Wine Guy," and he's talking about how he recently went through a divorce too! Since Ross is a mess, Monica is trying to get some advice. He says he broke some of her shit and her watch -- OH NO! NOT HER WATCH -- to let his anger out and Monica says she said she shredded some old boyfriends favorite towel. Watch out, we got a badass over her. We cut to Rachel who's leaving message after message on Barry's answering machine to explain why she left. She says it was probably because he was doing her with his socks on and she realized she wasn't down with all of that. Back to the guys now...

The guys want Ross to STFU about his divorce because they've never had a real relationship in a minute, while Ross had the real deal for a while. While Ross is going on about how there's probably only one woman out there for everybody we get another shitty metaphor from Joey. He relates woman to ice cream and how there's all kinds of flavors out there, he just has to try them all out. Paul and Monica's date is now getting deep and he gets all serious. He reels her in by saying that there's something he would tell her but it's a 5th date type of deal. These days, you know people be offering you their credit score right on the first date, so I could see why people were more secretive back in the day. Monica says, "Dude, there's totally gonna be a fifth date," and he tells her that he hasn't been able to get it up since his ex-wife left him TWO YEARS AGO.

Yes, girl. WHAT!? TWO YEARS!?

I'm sure her earlier declaration about not banging is going out the window. Rachel is watching Happy Days, where Joanie and Chachi are getting married. Ross is talking about how he hasn't been in the game in so long he doesn't know what to do or who'd he ask out. Baby montage of Rachel staring out the window looking pensive. Foreshadowing, maybe?

It's finally the next day and Rachel is super excited that she made everyone coffee because she's never done that before. I find that hard to believe. I don't care how rich your ass is, I'm sure at one point or another you've made your own damn coffee. Turns out her coffee is pretty nasty but, hey, at least she tried. AMIRITE? Monica shamefully comes out of the room followed by Paul. Yes, they banged. Paul then thanks her, talking about how it was all the great holidays in one, leaving Monica starry-eyed. Chandler announces he has to leave for work, which Rachel has apparently never heard of. They all say "Yes, bitch, we have jobs. How would we pay for shit otherwise?" Talk shifts to Joey's acting career and how he was in a play in the park about Pinocchio. Rachel concludes she's going to go out and get herself a job. At work, Monica is obviously that she got banged. Her co-worker is all like "Who? What? Where? When?" and Monica was like, "Yeah, it was Paul." Turns out this bitch also got her freak on with Paul because he hadn't gotten any in two years. SAY WHAT!? I sense an imbalance in the force.

Monica is outraged that Paul fed her a line and everyone says, "You should have known better, girl."

Rachel now shows up at the coffee house looking happy as hell.Everyone thinks she got a job but she's like, "Hell no! I can't do shit! I gots my shopping on, though. Check out these fine boots!" Nobody was a fan that she used credit cards that are paid by her parents since she's trying to be independent and all and probably because they're jealous they ain't got money like that. In order to make sure Rachel sticks to her guns and goes independent,  they make her cut up all her credit cards. Hopefully they let her keep those boots. They were totally 1994-chic.

I'd be sad too, girl, cutting up cards that I didn't have to pay for.

"Welcome to the Real World. It sucks" No truer words have ever been spoken.

It's now late at night and Monica, Ross and Rachel are watching TV. Rachel found Paul's watch on the floor by Monica's room and Monica tells her to put it back down where it came from. Monica leaves for bed and smashes that watch on the floor, because Paul totally had that coming.  Ross and Rachel are left to talk and her tells her that he used to have a crush on her back in the day, and she's like "Oh, yeah. I totally knew that." Ross then asks her if  he could maybe ask her out sometime and she's like, "Yeah, sure. Why not?" The episode ends with them back in the coffee shop talking about random shit again. Rachel is now working at the coffee house, probably still making bad coffee and Chandler talking about another one of his weird dreams again, only this time he's Liza Minelli. Wish it would've been another dream about his dick phone. THE END.

In summary, this isn't that great of a pilot episode. It doesn't really reel me in like where I want to know more about these people. Let's also not forget that this show wasn't really a "hit" until it's second season. I'll see you all next week for Episode 2!

F·R·I·E·N·D·S Recaps Coming Soon.

A couple of years ago, I decided that I wanted to watch the entire "Friends" series from beginning to end. Back in the day when it was originally in, I didn't get into the game until it went into syndication — this was about the time that Ross was saying Rachel instead of Emily. I'd pretty much seen all the episodes at least two to three times, but that doesn't mean that I didn't forget the existence of an episode and have it be hilarious all over again, not to say that all the episodes aren't still either funny or sad still. One thing that should be mentioned is that my husband loves the show and had all the seasons, which is why I thought I'd give it a go. Also, 25 minute episodes isn't too much of a time commitment, I could at least get one watched everyday OR maybe 6-8 episodes on a day off.

I eventually popped in that first DVD of the first season and let the laughter begin. Imagine my surprise when I get towards the second half of the second season and the disc starts to skip right around the time Ross and Rachel are finally getting together, let alone finding that the disc with the last episodes of that season is missing! I missed all of Monica and Richard!! (This is new because of the titles of the episodes on the case within the case of the second season. Same thing happened in season 4: Disc 4 was missing but there were two copies of Disc 3 -- LIKE WHY!? Season 5 and 6 which are the definitely the best IMO was smooth sailing, then season 7, the disc with the first episodes is gone. Season 8 and 9 were okay, couple of episodes were skipping here and there. Lots of skipping in season 10 and then the last 3 episodes weren't even there, because why you might ask? Oh, that's right, the disc was missing! I think it's safe to say that my husband isn't be best keeper of DVDs -- I mean I shouldn't have been surprised considering how well he takes care of his CD's 0____0

So, I'm sure you can see that I have no closure with the show and feel like I missed some great stuff because I had to skip entire discs because they were either missing or too scratched to play some or all of the episodes they contained. I'm sure you could also guess how excited I was to learn last year that Netflix was going to start streaming THE WHOLE SERIES. I was like "YES! I CAN NOW WATCH THE MISSING EPISODES!" Now that it's April, I've seen some of them, but it's not the same, so I think I'm going to give it a go and try to go through the whole thing again. Along with watching it again, I think I'll do some sort of recap of them as well. I remember during my first go through, I'd be watching an episode and would have commentary but no one to say it to. It ranged from observations of what had changed in the sets episode to episode, a character being crazy and stupid, and well, whether they were all pivoting that couch correctly. I plan on doing the same thing I tried doing a few years ago. I'll  use my husband's DVD's yo watch the episodes I can and then switch to Netflix to fill in the blank spaces -- or more like to make up for the fucked up DVDs. I'm going to try and mainly stick to the DVD's because some of the episodes I've seen on Netflix are edited and missing some of the jokes which I read is because Netflix has the episodes as they "originially aired" backed in the day. I mean, who cares? I want all the laughs. I know I've seen those full episodes during re-runs, so I'm used to them. I will be sure to let you know when I watch a Netflix episode in case anyone is following along with me.

I'm excited that I'll be able to do that. Maybe I can try and solve the mystery as to whether Ross and Rachel were really on a break -- not that you couldn't probably find countless debates about that online already but I'll throw my two cents in anyways.